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I Am At Home...

11/14/2019

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I had the privilege to make my way back to Colorado Springs for our Red Tent ‘A Night of Manifestation’ gathering. There I shed gentle and free flowing tears with the awareness of all the richness this Sisterhood offers. The sheer magic of being held in the delicious womb of Red Tent was amazing! As were the days after I spent visiting with my Sisters and soaking in the luxurious healing waters of SunWater Spa. I had forgotten how immensely pleasurable these experiences are and how much my Soul spaces needed to touch home for a bit.
 
Home.
 
It’s something I can’t recall feeling with consciousness prior to this experience. I had moved every two to four years for the first 20 years of my adult life and changed schools growing up nearly as often. Then, I moved to Colorado in 2008 and could not bring mySelf to leave for nearly 11 years. I felt bound to the land until I purposely chose to become untethered by making unconscious choices that seemed Spiritual and enlightened or enlightening. Maybe I felt stifled by my choice to remain in one place? Over time, the world of my choosing started to close in and become small. The side of me that had learned how to live globally and vivaciously out loud became silent, receded, and imprisoned in places deep within.
 
In February 2016, my Guides called for me to return to my Grandmother’s home saying I needed to “pull up out of the land.” The message came intermittently over the months my focus was in spaces of potential in the vastness of opening to a multidimensional reality through my Kundalini Awakening. All the while knowing some of the consequences if I did not heed their guidance. It was on my mind always and just not something I wanted to focus on.
 
I made the pilgrimage that October and, on the third night, I was called to visit a particular spot by the garden  and behind the boulder I recalled being huge that was really just about waste high. I placed my belly on the ground and absorb my maternal lineage into my physical Being through an umbilical chord made of magic, Spirit, and space.
 
I returned home to my life in Colorado and severed connections – friendships, my practice and with it clients, financial stability, toxic relationships, and Red Tent. I could not bring mySelf to show up to Tent in the condition I was in and what had access to come through me. I would rather have died than given it access to feed on anyone else, least of all my Sisters. I began living an untethered life processing through the stories and experiences of my maternal lineage within the vessel I was born to care for.
 
I began dis-membering. My vessel starving and racked with the pain of twisting and turning between past lives and present potential realities that served to drown my consciousness of being present in this world, let alone being in the moment. Too many dimensions opened at once and I searched to open more out of ignorance and the desire to understand – my mind splitting in directions of sheer terror. Who was I now? Upon waking on the floor after a particularly terrifying seizure, I said to my husband who was holding me, “I don’t know who I am.” He simply replied, “I do.” Laying there looking up at him, I blinked hard in confusion.
 
During my descent into the Dark Night of the Soul that lasted every bit of two years, the voice of my Guides left me. From eight years of age until I turned 40, they had been there guiding and supporting me. I trusted and surrendered over and over, reweaving and remaking my life as they requested. I was entirely unconscious of the powerful blessing this was in my life and how unusual. I assumed everyone had this experience and that my Guides would always be with me as needed, just as they had always been. Not realizing the blessing this was in my life, or even what it was (I did not have a clear language then). I attended workshops and events, listened to daily and nightly meditations guiding me to find my Spirit Animal, the Goddess, and Guardian Angel, etc. the list is long and vast. I sought to find the voice of higher consciousness while completely neglecting the fact that “they” had been communicating with me most of my life. I took them for granted and, at pivotal times leading up to their silence – I ignored them. I disrespected them, my gifts, and mySelf. I doubted all of it and…
 
For once in my life, I wanted to do what I wanted to do – I was addicted and wanted more Spiritual experiences. To find my edges (what were they REALLY?). I moved through my human experience like a hungry Lioness seeking fulfillment anywhere I could find it. I became animalistic, unbridled, unkempt, and certainly untamed – I found the edges I was seeking before realizing how far I had gone and,


 
I’d gone too far…
 
 

                                                                                                                    …from mySelf.
 
​

The expanse so vast, I actually lost the sense of smell and taste.
 
Life had become flat, painful, unenjoyable, and without meaning.
 
I had gone far from knowing what any sense of home felt like – I no longer even felt at home in my body.

 
When, in 2018, I learned I would be relocating to Texas, it took every bit of the time I had before moving to wrap my mind around this change. re-Membering how to move, to become Gypsy once more – it had been easier when it was the life I wanted. This proved uncomfortable to once again surrender into following the lead of my Guides and trusting. To surrender into the experience of allowing Soul to lead once again. Closing doorways of potentials I no longer wanted to entertain, I was once again creating and manifesting the life I desired. Living in right relationship to Self, no longer influenced through external motivating factors, questioning my path, or the voices of others but rather, the truest voice of my authentic Nature – the resonance and tone of my own voice.
 
As all of these experiences came forward – expressed through tears – in Red Tent, with the safety and warmth of a Sisterhood grown strong in connection with deep roots. It is in the safest of spaces we are able to shed tears that grow us and help us process the journey it took to be in the here and now.
 
After time in our Temple and with the space created to process after, I began thinking of the feeling and experience of what it means to have a home, to be home, to feel home. To be at ease within.
 
Realizing, through a kaleidoscope of exploration, our greatest space of ease is to be at home with the sacredness of ourSelf and to see that home has many different meanings for me:

​I am at home within this vessel I incarnated to be Sacred Caretaker.


I am at home with the land of the Rocky Mountains and Front-range.

I am at home with the Sisters of my Red Tent Temple 
and the space we hold for each other monthly as our own personal seasons change.


I am at home where I am called to physically reside.

Above all else, I am at home listening to the Wisdom of my Soul.

Question For You

How do you call your I Am At Home...?

Leave me a Comment for me in the section below!
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Week of November 4th, 2019 AstroTarot Reading [Masculine Wounds Brought to the Surface]

11/4/2019

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​Beloved Soul, we have a powerful week ahead of us. One that can change our understanding and experience with the unhealthy Masculine.

On Tuesday, the 5th, Mars in Libra squares off with Pluto in Capricorn triggering feelings of having been let down by an inadequate Masculine energy in life. Now, this can be an Ancestral wound, something that lingers from the paternal side of your lineage, past relationships with men, OR the relationship one has with the Masculine side of the Self. 

On Friday, the 8th, we have some juicy energy lining up to inspire outward expression extracted from the depths of consciousness. 
- A Scorpio Sun trines Neptune Retrograde in Pisces rendering us the energy of mystery, depth, dreams, and illusions
- A Scorpio Sun sextiling Saturn in Capricorn this is a hardworking energy that can lead us into becoming fixated on something or someone (tread carefully with this one, Blessed One)
- Saturn in Capricorn sextilling Neptune Retrograde in Pisces (this particular transit will not happen again until 2031!!!) feel as though they are making love in the sky gifting us fluid waves to weave the Spiritual and Material worlds together, as one.

Advice: lay low at that start of the week and use this subconscious realization to shift the focus of healing by means of creation. Express through art or dance. Journey with the energies to obtain a new vision unique to the situation. And, as always, take part in these experiences safely, from a grounded space tethering you to this reality.

Much love to you as you make way on your Sacred Journey,
Jessica

NOVEMBER 2019 PLAYLIST
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLL_jaTRSrIkRS70IowO5lsvKbzq7xSBkp

Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildwomanwise/

TAROT & ORACLE DECKS USED FOR NOVEMBER 2019
Shadowscapes Tarot by Stephani Pui-Mun Law & Barbara Moore
*Tarot cloth by https://www.etsy.com/shop/SalisSpiritus

In humble gratitude and grace,
Rev. Jessica Ruth Allen, MA
http://www.wildwomanwise.com/
P.S. If you feel so inspired, please Like this video and don’t forget to Subscribe to my channel for more content in production to nurture the wild woman’s Soul and to add your intention to the Global Sisterhood connecting on this channel.

DISCLAIMER
The purpose of this reading is to provide guidance and clarity into your situation as I have received messages tuning into the collective energy of your sign. Therefore, the messages, guidance or advice cannot resonate with everyone and are for entertainment purposes. Take what applies to your situation and please, leave the rest for it will not resonate with everyone and cannot serve your highest good if the message is not for you. As such, your decisions are your own based on your judgment and intuition. This reading is not meant to take the place of professional advice, counseling or medical sessions.

Week of November 4th, 2019 [Masculine Wounds Brought to the Surface]

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An Inner Knowing

10/7/2019

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Picture
I am a Warrior fighting battles on fields of the Unknown
Between the spaces of here and now,
With the presence of being in the moment.

Plucking the Great Web of life to
Herald change,
Transition,
And breathing into creation
New, precious, and sacred Life.


I carry Lightning in my bones,
It is my Medicine.

I carry Thunder in my heart,
It is my Talisman
Honed from a long enduring fight
With my own Shadows
I walk in Oneness now.
​
I am the Storm
Should one cross my path with deception.
And I will bring the pounding of a Hurricane,
For it is my birth right.

by Rev. Jessica Ruth Allen, MA, LMFT
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    of pearls
    ​and bone

    Picture
    Created by an irritant in the psychic darkness of our fleshy nature, a pearl awaits.
    By: Jessica Ruth Allen
    Soul expressions of a fiercely feminine warrior nurturing inner harmony.

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